i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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