I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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