I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
