we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
they're like a gay fantastic four
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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