Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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