Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
