I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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