I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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