haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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