omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
