3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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