This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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