Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
