we have pet lesbian snakes
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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