Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
