Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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