i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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