why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
