I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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