Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
