see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
