dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
