Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
