best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you didnt know i had herpes?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
