it hurts more in the daytime
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
