the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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