If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
