Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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