The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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