oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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