I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
