Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
