I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
