i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my being single is dangerous.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
How's work?
Spinning.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
