Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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