I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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