okay pat passed out under dana's car
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
