it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
