Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
