I wish I could teleport
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I still have a little drunk in my system
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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