I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
