# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
