I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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