So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
