quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
