she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
