Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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