just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
