In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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