your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
